Commandment Numero Uno
An Angler shalt not lie about his fishing ability.
Being a very experienced fisherman and more importantly guiding, I don't care how great or green you are to the sport. Be straight up about your abilities. Don't tell your guide that you are very experienced fly fisherman when you've only fished once. We can better serve you and set up game plans to make your day much more enjoyable if you tell us how good you really are. Don't be embarassed! Not everyone is born an olympian, and not everyone can double haul a 9" fly 60 feet into a hula-hoop sized target.
Inserting real to life commentary of a phone conversation before booking a trip.
Fisherman- Hello my name is Joe Angler and I'm from Such and Such, Such and Such. I saw your website with the pictures of al those nice fish and I would like to book a trip with you and wonder how we'll be fishing for them
Guide- Hey Joe, Good to hear from you. We have several different ways we catch these fish depending upon an anglers skill level. Have you fly fished much (please don't bs me).
Fisherman- Well I've been fly fishing for twenty years ( One time I fly fished twenty years ago and haven't gotten around to it since). I'm a relatively great caster (if my memory serves me well from 20 years ago), and I love (the idea) of streamer fishing. It says you specialize in that this time of year.
Guide- Okay good (sounds to good to be true). That's one good way to key in on some bigger fish (I'll be packing a bobber rod just in case). What kind of rods do you have?
I believe it is a 5/6 weight Fenwick which I've done pretty good with in the past (i swung an olive wooly bugger in a riffle twenty years ago and I caught a fish).
Guide- Okay (i knew it). Typically we throw a lot larger flies that need bigger rods. I've got some just in case (we actually streamer fish, because you're probably going to need casting lessons before I can even get you to flop a bobber and some nymphs 1o feet off the side of the boat) you need a little extra back bone to throw my flies.
How the conversation should go if an angler follows commandment numero uno.
Fisherman- Hello my name is Joe Angler, I'm from such and such, such and such. I saw all those pictures of nice fish on your website, and you seem to be a very reputable guide. I would like to book a trip with you, and would like to know how you pursue the nicer fish.
Guide- Hey Joe, good to hear from you. I have been in the business for a while and do happen upon some nice fish pretty frequently with all different types of methods depending upon time of year and an angler's skill level. What experience do you have (please don't BS me).
Fisherman- Well I've been fly fishing once, but that was twenty years ago. I'd like to try my hand at it again. I probably have a lot of brushing up to do on my casting. I saw that you are big into streamer fishing. That seems like a fun way to catch a trout.
Guide- (he didn't bs me! i like this guy already) Yes sir, streamer fishing is a lot of fun. It takes a bit more know how than some other methods to catch fish. But I'd probably like to start you out with some more simple methods of fishing to instill some confidence and get some fish under your belt, and from there we can progress and get fancy with methods and style points (i'll pack a streamer rod just in case you progress nicely for later in the day).
Fisherman- Sounds good (this guide didn't string me along promising me everything under the sun, seems like a straight shooter. I like this guy) Lets book these dates, and hopefully I'll get to pitch that streamer rod around a little bit by the end.
That's how it should go. Anglers shouldn't be embarassed about their skill levels. A guides going to know your skill level once you wrap your hands around the cork anyways.
Commandment Numero Dos
Anglers should think before they speak.......less they become the butt of a joke a guide shall tell on another fishing trip. It's best that I give you some real life examples to learn from.
Fisherman: How deep is it here? (while standing in ankle deep water)
Guide: It comes up to a duck's ass.
Fisherman: Which way is down river? (while standing on the banks of a rapid)
Guide: I sure hope it was the way we've been floating. I thought gravity pulled everything DOWN thus the way the water would be flowing would be down river. I sure hope so. The lodge owner told me to float you guys down river to the lodge. I don't have that much food in the boat for dinner and its probably going to rain tonight.
Fisherman: Look, that cow has spots.........and its running....isn't that weird?
Guide: I don't understand the question. Is it A. a cow has spots? B. The cow is running or C. both A and B a spotted cow is running.
Fisherman: What time will the tide come in? (sitting about 2000 ft. above sea level)
Guide: Oh no, I never thought of that. I hope it doesn't ruin our day.
Fisherman: If all the rivers are high and they're flowing into the ocean, than why isn't the ocean rising (a doctor speaking about rivers during early season during run off in alaska)?
Guide: I guess they didn't cover evaporation and geographical statistics in med school. They did however cover that phenomenon in my seventh grade public school class. Let me explain
Fisherman: Where do salmon come from? (looking upon the masses of red sockeyes spawning in a river)
Guide: from the ocean
Fisherman: I know that! But where do they really come from?
Guide: well.....i thought your mom and dad should have covered this...but when a mommy and daddy salmon love each other very much.........
I could go on and on. I don't mind the questions really. They fill my guide days with a lot of comical banter.
Finally........
Commandment Numero Tres
This one goes for both duck hunters and fly fishers.
While using the restroom in the woods, make sure waders and corresponding straps are tucked forward out of the firing line, nets worn on the back tucked over the front of the shoulder. For the guys......corresponding manly gear should also be tucked away from any clothing articles. Makes for an uncomfortable rest of the day.
